How to win a monkey's heart
by t0shiro
Summary: Kagura is now 18, and Sougo 22. As they grew older, both become very mature (most of the time). Sougo decides to drop by the Yorozuya for help: Gorilla wants to marry Otae and needs advice. As they begin they're mini quest to arrange a perfect plan for Kondo to propose, the idiot duo become closer. Maybe romantically.
1. Sadist and Monkey

**A/N: This is my very first fanfic for the okikagu pairing, and basically my first ever to write one. As the setting explains, the sadist and china pair are 4 years older, meaning that they have grown mature throughout the years. The sadist has become more romantic (somehow) and reeaaallly different. As for the China queen, she became more careless, but is now more aware of her feelings (remember when she couldn't tell the difference between parental and romantic love? well, now she can distinguish them~) I can honestly say that if I knew more about Okita, then I couldve done a better job on his characteristics in this story. Anyway, I became inspired to write a fanfic based on the two after watching 80 some episodes of gintama and reading other fanfics about the pair. Sorry for the long description, so here ya go!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama (obviously).**

"Oiiiii Kagura chaaaaaan!"

"Gin-chan, shut up. If you're going out, then go already. Bring back some sukonbu okay?"

"Alright, buying JUMP won't take too long. Watch the place for me. Don't order anything from tv. " Gintoki left the house lazily, and seconds later, Kagura heard loud a bang after Gin started his scooter.

"MY HEMMOORRROOIIDDSSS!" A man whose eyes were covered by his hair yelled.

"Whatever. My soap opera that I recorded should be finished by now." Kagura sat down and watched.

Knock knock. "Daaannnnaaaaaaaa." knock knock.

"Ugh, its the sadist. I just want to watch this episode without any interruptions..." She got up and opened the door.

"Hey sadistic freak, Gin-chan's not here. Come back in an hour." She closed the door but the sadist's hand was caught.

"Then I'll wait. You can't do this to a policeman." So the sadistic prince entered the room as Kagura sat back down and resumed her soap opera.

"Oi, china. I'm thirsty." Sougo complained.

"There's tea over there. Make some yourself." Kagura sighed.

Their relationship died down as they grew older. Sometimes they fought, and sometimes they didn't. At some point, Kagura stopped (but rarely will she fight him). Most of the time, they could talk to each other without a punch or kick.

Sougo waited about 10 minutes for Kagura to make him some tea, but gave up. As he walked towards the kitchen, he noticed how Kagura's hair grew so long. _Ehh. Looks nicer from before._

After making himself tea, he sat back down, and noticed that the soap opera that she recorded ended. "China, can you exit your program already because I wanna watch too."

No answer.

"Oi, China."

No answer again.

"I'm going to eat all of your sukonbu."

No reply.

Sougo approached the long haired Kagura and noticed that she fell asleep.

_If I peck her cheek, she would surely get mad. This way, she would exit her stupid opera._

He stooped to her level, and slowly moved his face towards her. As he got closer, something squeezed him.

Kagura unconsciously grabbed his face with her bare hands. She mumbled something as she continued to sleep.

"Uuuuuuuuggghhhuuu... stupid sadist... I'm going to find someone better than you..."

She let go of his face and continued to sleep.

"Huh. You have a thing for me, China?" Sougo smirked. He sat back down quietly, and quit the idea of kissing her cheek. As he continued to drink his tea, he thought about Kagura. He realized that she grew more mature, in both mind and body. Before Kagura, everything seemed boring. But after meeting her, his life became exciting. Meeting danna was one part. But fighting with her was another, since she was the only match for him. It was no fun to beat someone easy and weak. The times he ran into her, which later turned into bad situations, were quite amusing. In other words, if he hadn't met Kagura, everyday would boring and plain.

But Sougo couldn't believe this was the same girl 4 years ago. _Ehh. She really is different._

He got up, and leaned his face towards the sleeping Kagura. _A little kiss wouldn't hurt at all._

WOOSH!

The door opened! Shinpachi was carrying several bags, but his sight was blocked because of it. He put down the bags and saw Sougo.

Wait... SOUGO?!

"O-okita san! Wha-WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO KAGURA?!"

Sougo had his bazooka aiming at Kagura.

"There's a bug on her face. It's bothering me. That bug landed on my tea and somehow landed on china. I'm getting revenge." _BAD TIMING MEGANE. _

" Oh, I'll make you another cup of tea then. But... TAKE OUT THAT BAZOOKA OUTTA HER FACE!"

Sougo withdrew his bazooka and Shinpachi went into the kitchen and unloaded the bags. Sougo realized that Kagura wasn't the only one who grew up. Shinpachi was tall now; the same height as Sougo. He still had glasses, but they looked much better. Shinpachi was still close to both Kagura and Danna, and continued on their quests if they were ever to have one.

"Okita-san, what brings you here? Gin-san should be coming home soon." Shinpachi handed his freshly made tea to Sougo.

"Ehh.. Gorilla asked me for help on how to ask Otae... well... on marrying her. I don't know why he asked me, so I came here." He sipped his tea and set it down on the table.

"He doesn't know when to stop huh..." Shinpachi trailed off. "Anyways, how about you Okita-san? You're getting older. Shouldn't you be marrying also?"

"There's somebody in mind. But eh. I'm married to my bazooka." Sougo sipped his tea again.

" That seems kinda.. well okay..." Shinpachi stared at the girl he sat next to. " Y'know, I haven't seen Kagura-chan fight with you in awhile. Kinda weird, but oh well. This way, she would actually find a good man, unlike that one guy..." He shivered.

"Wait, huh. This china monster actually dated someone..." Sougo became interested.

"Well yeah." Shinpachi continued to look at Kagura. "It was messy. I don't think she knew what she was doing. But that was years ago. When I think about it, we've grown older." He reminisced about the stupid times with Kagura, and laughed. "She better find someone that will clean up after her."

Sougo started to speak slowly, " Well, what if that person who cleans after Kagura is m-"

"SHINNNNPAAAAACHIIII!" Gintoki yelled as he opened the door. "Quick! Give me my strawberry milk! Give me one bargain dash too!"

Shinpachi shrugged and went into the kitchen.

_Danggit danna. What's your problem.._

"Oi! Its Soichiro! What's your business here? As you can see..." Gintoki looked at Kagura. "China girl is too tired to fight. Come play some other time."

He sat next to Kagura, stealing Shinpachi's seat. Gintoki nudged her, but Kagura's reply was a kick to his face.

Shinpachi entered the room and handed over his strawberry milk and bargain dash. Gintoki slowly drank his milk as blood trickled down his nose.

"So. What do you need Soichiro?"

"Danna, I'm Sougo. Anyway, I came to ask for some help since you know this woman..."

Sougo looked at the sleeping Kagura.

"Actually, _two_ women. Danna, I need some advice."


	2. The cockroach technique

"Gin-chan, where are you taking me? Oi, Megane, stop pulling me."

Kagura tried to escape from Gin-chan and Shinpachi, but the grip of these two men were somehow stronger than her.

"Kagura-chaaaaan, if you stop resisting, I'll give you 50 pounds of sukonbu."

Kagura scoffed. "You think you can afford that much? We haven't had a job for 3 weeks! We used that money for our rent!"

_GEH! Kagura knows! _Shinpachi and Gintoki looked at each other for help.

"Ka-kaaa-KAAAAGURAAAA CHAAAAN, YOUR SILVER HAIRED DAD WILL FIND A WAAAAY!" Shinpachi let go of Kagura's hand and fled.

_Oi that useless megane boy. Oouuuuuuu... OOHHHH IM GONNA BURN ALL OF HIS OTSUU'S CDS! CHOME CHOME MOTHER F-_

Gintoki and Kagura finally reached their destination, after hours of yelling, bleeding, and snot coming down the samurai's nose.

They arrived at a small café, which included many women with short uniforms. As they entered, Gintoki coughed under his breath,"Ooooh. I just saw panties."

The pair found a sadistic looking prince staring out the window, which looked like a scene where he lost his precious dog or maybe an eraser from school.

"Ah. Danna, over here."

The scene changed from depressing into something hopeful then depressing; something related to finding an eraser, but its not his; or a dog that looked like his own precious dog, but the name tag on it says something else, like bacon.

Kagura stared at the policeman then stared at the menu. Gintoki did the same as Kagura, at the same time.

"Danna, did you forget already?" The sadistic prince stared right at Gintoki.

"Lemme just get my parfait." He was already drooling, and the snot from his nose was hanging.

A waitress stopped by the table and asked for their orders. Kagura asked for about 10 bowls of many flavors of ice cream, while Gintoki asked for his usual.

He left shortly after he recieved his parfait, leaving Kagura and Sougo alone.

"Okay, you sadist. I don't have money, and I'm too tired to fight. But I haven't forfeited this battle." Kagura continued to eat her 8th bowl of ice cream.

"Well, its not about that." At this time, usually she would've stopped eating and resumed her fighting habits, but now that she grew older, she became slightly different.

Sougo continued on. "You fell asleep while I was asking danna and megane for help. Y'see, Kondo-san wants to marry Otae, but he needs help. Men like megane and danna don't know anything, so I thought I would ask you."

"Ahh. Anego's gonna reject him either way. What's the point?" She sighed and began eating her last bowl of ice cream.

"Well you never know what's gonna happen. He's changed since the last time you saw him." Sougo replied, looking at her as she ate.

_Was she always this cute?_

"And...China. If you keep eating like that, nobody will date you." He smirked, but he knew that he himself, would date her, even if she ate in a sloppy way.

"The queen doesn't need a king. I have Gin-chan, Shinpachi, Sadaharu, and Anego to make me happy. I don't need anybody else." She burped right after and looked out the window. "maybe aniki and poppy, but they don't count anymore."

Sougo looked how sad Kagura seemed, but after a second, she didn't seem like it anymore.

"What about me?" Sougo asked.

"Huh?" Kagura was licking the leftover ice cream that remained in the bowls.

_Okay, that part of her didn't change._

"Do I make you happy?" Sougo stared at her.

Kagura caught his eyes which were locked onto hers. She spit out a variety of flavors of ice cream onto his shirt.

"SEE WHAT YOU DID?! I was about to swallow the ice cream..." Kagura sighed as she grabbed 20 handfuls of napkins.

Sougo continued to stare at her as she grabbed the napkins and continued to do so as she sat down next to him.

"This is your fault, you sadist."

She began to clean the ice cream which stained his shirt with the napkins.

"I'm just being nice today. For... the ice cream.."

Kagura continued to clean off the stain while Sougo continued to silently stare at her.

"You didn't answer my question, China."

"What question?"

"What about me, do I make you happy?"

Kagura finished wiping off the stain. She sighed and looked at him.

" I don't know. What do you think?" She got up, and sat back down on the seat that faced the opposite of him.

Sougo didn't hesitate. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure I make you happy. Like when I fixed your wrist."

"Hey... you did the opposite stupi-"

"Anyways. I believe that I make you happy. If you disagree, then I'll prove it to you."

"Hey, wait.. what are you trying to do?!"

"Nothing. Anyways, you'll agree on helping me right? Y'know... like what does Kondo-san has to do in order to get Otae-san to marry him?"

"Sadist, all these years... you still don't know? If I agree, what'll I get in return?" Kagura sighed. She looked out the window again and saw a man who got ran over by some scooter, which looked like it was owned by Gintoki.

"Well, what do you want?" Sougo also looked out the window, and found the man who got ran over, getting run over again by some man, who had silver hair.

"Hmm. I'll tell you once we're done with gorilla's business."

Both of them got up and headed out the door, with Kagura leading the way.

"Alright... oi china. There's something on your back. Lemme kill it."

Before she could say or do anything, Sougo hugged her from behind. _Her scent smells great. It surprisingly doesn't smell like sukonbu. _

After he let go, he started, "Aren't you gonna say thanks? That cockroach was really hu-"

Sougo was cut off with Kagura's fist against his face and her foot on his stomach.

"S-SADIST!" Kagura was stuttering, and began to punch Sougo's face again but was eventually stopped by his palm.

"Look, here's proof." The sadistic prince showed her a drawn picture of a dead bug. "See, I told you it was hu-"

Sougo was cut off again by the queen's fist and she stormed off out of the store.

After minutes of running away from Sougo's arms, he finally caught up beside her.

"I'm going to shoot you in your sleep, you sadist!" Kagura stopped and noticed that he was smiling at her.

_Ugh, what the heck is he smiling at. He looks creepy. A creepy cop..._

"Tomorrow. We're going out shopping. For Kondo-san's wife-to-be. I'll be waiting right outside your door at 12."

"Geh. I'm not paying for anything." Kagura didn't realize that she was right in front of the house.

She went inside, only to find a box sukonbu on the table.

Kagura peered inside to make sure it wasnt a bomb that Zura planted or something stupid that Sa-chan left. But the box had real sukonbu, with a note on top.

"Don't wake up late, or else the cockroach will eat your back."

_I'm going to break his neck._


	3. Umbrellas

"Ahh.. Ah.. AAAHHHH CHHOOOOOOOOO!"

The 18 year old Yato girl sneezed across the room in the morning. Snot covered not only the white-haired samurai's face, but the boy with glasses and the large dog named Sadaharu.

"Ka-kagura-chan. I just took a shower before I came here..."

Sadaharu barked and chomped on Shinpachi's head.

"Hey k-ka-kagura-chan, Sadaharu's saliva won't replace clean water..."

Gintoki picked his booger and flicked it at Shinpachi. "Oiii, Kagura, can you get my JUMP magazi-"

_Oh whoops. Their date today. Soichiro promised me a month's worth of bargain dash. _

"Oh! Its 12. See ya guys!" Kagura picked up her bag but paused when Gin-chan said those few words:

"You seem excited. Are you going on a date with someone?"

He smirked at Shinpachi, whose head was still bleeding. Both giggled silently like little school girls.

Kagura turned around and the silent giggles stopped.

She ran out the door and bumped into some weird cop.

_WEIRD. COP. _

_He didn't lie when he said he'd be right next to the door._

"Geh.. sadist. You better be treating me out." She went downstairs first and Sougo followed after.

"Okay Queen china. L'see..." Sougo looked at his list. The first few bullet points on the list included:

1) GET TO KNOW CHINA WOMAN! JUST BECAUSE YOUVE FOUGHT DOESN'T MEAN YOU ACTUALLY KNOW HER! Treat her out.

2) Ask questions when she's not aware that its being asked... stuff her stomach with ice cream.

3) Buy mayo

_Mayo. Ma- MAYO ?!_

_Oh helllllll no. Hijikata knows about this...?! Okay, don't let this bother you... I am the sadistic prince and I will shoot his head when he sleeps._

Sougo was unaware where he was walking, and ended up walking into a pole.

Kagura stared at him and walked away. He caught up with her, and found her smiling and laughing.

_Okay. She really did get cuter. Should I do my cockroach technique agai-_

"BAHAHAHHAAHA!" Kagura kept laughing and pointed at the sadist's bleeding forehead. "You're still stupid as ever! Here, wipe it off with my cloth."

She kept laughing as she handed it to him.

"Hahaha... here.. give it back once you wash it." She walked away but kept laughing.

Sougo looked at the cloth he was given. It was white with pink ribbons that decorated the borders. He smiled and wiped off the blood and caught up with Kagura.

_When did she become so cute?_

"Sadist. Is this the place you wanted to go to?"

The pair ended up standing in front of a large supermarket.

"Huh. Why."

"Anego like to cook. Her favorites are eggs and eggs and eggs. We're getting eggs."

"Wait. Before we go.. well if you were hungry we could've went to a caf-"

Too late. Kagura already went inside.

_Dates do not start off like this. Well in the dramas I watch don't._

"Oi, china, aren't we just getting eggs?" Sougo stared at the cart that was full of baking mixes.

"Well, we should get some sweets or something. Anego likes it. Are you willing to bake chocolates and a cake?"

_Wait. We could bake together. Together. Perfe-_

Kagura smashed a box of cake mix onto his head. "Why do keep spacing out? Anyways, we'll be getting these boxes. It's better if the sweets are made by us than being bought. Anego's gonna like it!"

She walked away, pushing a cart full of just not cake mix and chocolates, but candy as well.

"Oi china! Are you trying to empty my wallet? What's with the candy?"

"Sadist, shut up. You make enough money. And.." Kagura left the items to the cashier. "A woman gotta eat y'know."

"Well that's why we're gonna go out to eat right now. Sheesh." Sougo paid for the groceries and found Kagura smiling.

"Wha-what ... why are you smiling?"

"Nothing! You're really different! I'd punch you but you're holding the eggs. Anyways, where are heading off t-"

She was cut off by Sougo's 'there-is-a-bug-on-your-back' technique and hugged her.

"China. You didn't become cute at all." He smirked and looked at her.

She was angry of course, but she blushed.

"S-S-SAAAAAADIST!" Kagura kicked his head and stomach and left.

Sougo ended up catching up to her after awhile. He was still bleeding but he didn't notice. They somehow ended in front of a café. "Here. The café. You're hungry aren't you?"

"Y-yeah..." Kagura was still blushing.

They entered, ordered, and ate for awhile. Sougo knew this was the chance to ask her questions.

"Oi, China. I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

Kagura sipped her drink. "Ne. He was a giant. Gin-chan and poppy didn't like him."

_GEH. A GIANT._

"But that was a long time ago. I learned a lot afterwards. I was too young, but whatever." She continued to sip her drink.

_Uhh..her cup is empty._

"He was mean. He hurt Gin-chan and Shinpachi. Poppy doesn't count." She continued to sip her empty cup. "I don't need guys like him."

Sougo stopped eating and looked at her.

"I can treat you better."

Kagura choked. "Sadist, you should stop teasing me. I'm going to kick your ass once I finish my drink."

_China, it's empty..._

"You're what, 22? You sound like a pedo. Even though you're cop, I'll call other cops to arrest you."

Kagura continued to drink her empty cup and stared at the window. She mumbled something but Sougo couldn't hear it.

"China, repeat that."

" I didn't say anything sadist."

She looked quite sad and looked out the window. Some man was run over by a man that had silver hair.

_This sadist. He doesn't know when to stop bugging me. He knows that there is nobody out there for me. If he keeps rubbing it onto my face, I'm going to cut his balls off and sell it at the black market._

"Well. I may be a sadist. But I sure can treat you better." He looked at Kagura who continued to stare out the window. "Oi. Are you listening?"

"Huh. Say that again?" Kagura made eye contact with his red eyes.

_Sigh. When did he become so ugly._

"Anyway China, what else does your Anego like? We should get going." Sougo continued to look at Kagura, who turned her head away and looked out the window again.

"Emm... It's the rainy season so... let's get her a new umbrella. Her favorite one was ruined because of Gorilla man."

_The umbrella idea kinda sucks. But isn't her own umbrella wearing out?_

"Your umbrella, China. It's getting old, aren't you gonna buy a new one?"

"Sadist, you really are stupid. I don't have money. You think it's easy to repair or find an umbrella like this huh. Anyway, there's a store nearby that has umbrellas. Let's go."

She stood up and left, with Sougo following her behind. He studied her umbrella.

_Okay, l'see. So... bullets, thickness..._

Kagura pointed at a building. "Oi oi. This is the store. They really have nice umbrellas here.."

The china sadist pair entered the store and Kagura seemed fascinated.

"Wow! Looks like they restocked! Oooo..."

Sougo stared at her face, who seemed so amazed. He smiled and walked up next to her.

"Do you want anything here? I mean you could go for something new..." He pointed at Kagura's umbrella.

"We only came for Anego's umbrella, not min- oh!" She pointed at a yellow umbrella that had bunnies on it.

"She may be old now, but she loves bunnies. Wha- HAHAH! Look! Each bunny is different! This one has a unibrow! HAHAH!"

Sougo looked at the bunnies that were printed on the umbrella. Yeah, one bunny had a unibrow, and another one had buck teeth.

_Oi. That one looks like a sadist. A SADISTIC BUNN-_

Kagura kept laughing and smiled at Sougo. "I'm going to see if there are any more umbrellas."

She took off leaving him alone.

_Wha-what was that. She smiled at me. Whaaaaa. CHINA?! WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO CUTE?! Wait, I sound like a pedo. Should I sound more like sadistic prince or.._

As Sougo looked around the store, he spotted Kagura, who was gazing at one umbrella.

He hid behind a shelf and continued to study her.

Kagura took an umbrella off the shelf and instantly became amazed.

"Whaaaaaaaaa! This umbrella! It's really nice. I should cry or something."

She took out something from her pocket, and stared at her palm that had 300 yen and some lint.

"Ugu. Shouldn't have bought that snack. Why did I buy 30 packs of it.. But it's so nice... if I just fixed that part and this and that and..."

Kagura sighed and put back the umbrella back on the shelf. She left the aisle and mumbled, "Okay. The next problem is to find that sadist. Can't believe he left that box of..." Her voice faded away as she disappeared from Sougo's sight.

He looked at the aisle to make sure China wasn't there.

_Now... where is that umbrella._

Sougo took out the umbrella that caught Kagura's eye. "Eh. Her taste is bad as ever."

The umbrella was colored red, with gold patterns of sakura flowers. It was really large- the same size as Kagura herself. "If I find a sukonbu patterned umbrella, she'd probably mistaken it as real food and would eat it."

He put back the umbrella on the shelf and searched the store for Kagura.

"Chiiiiiiinaaaaaaa. Chiiiiinnnaaaaa. Chiiiiiin-"

"SHUT UP YOU SADISTIC LOSER!" Kagura popped up from the behind and hit his head with soon-to-be Anego's umbrella. "Hurry up and pay."

The pair ended up at the cashier and paid.

"China. Are you sure you don't want anything? This umbrella-" Sougo held up her worn out umbrella, "Should be replaced." He looked at her for her reply.

"N-no. It's getting late. Let's go." She glanced at the aisle that had her favorite umbrella, turned around and left.

As they left the store, Sougo paused. "Awww shit. My ID... I probably left it at the store."

"Well, okay. I'll be going. Bye then sadis-"

"Wait." He grabbed Kagura's hand before she left. "Tomorrow. I'll wait again outside the door at 12. We have to plan the perfect way for Gorilla to propose."

"Geh. Yeah yeah. Be prepared to pay for my food again."

As Kagura left, she was quite disappointed. Not because she didn't get the new umbrella but because of Sougo.

_Could of atleast hug me again. I probably wouldn't mind this time._

Sougo stayed at the same spot until Kagura was out of sight.

He ran towards the umbrella store, and went towards the aisle where Kagura found the umbrella. Sougo went straight to the cashier and paid quickly.

"Sir," The cashier started, "Is this for your girlfriend that came earlier?"

"Eh." The sadist looked at him. "Yeah, it is. She sure has bad taste in these."


	4. Papers, Scents and Flowers

"Well this is what I got so far.."

Sougo read out his list of the perfect proposal for Gorilla aloud to Kagura.

It was noon by the time the two were eating at a café.

"Sadist, Anego wouldn't like that. Cross that out." Kagura was eating her 11th bowl of ice cream at full speed.

"Soichiro, the umbrella you sent yesterday was smashed by Otae-san herself."

"Aneki kept a funny picture of the bunny though. She gave me a sadistic looking bunny."

Sougo stared right at the two men, who continued to eat their food, also at full speed.

Kagura asked Gintoki and Shinpachi to join their little meeting last night, and the two didn't hesitate to say yes.

_Good job, China. My wallet is almost empty._

The two men stared right back at Sougo. Kagura, who sat between them, didn't notice. Gintoki and Shinpachi made kissing sounds and arm movements as they hugged themselves.

Sougo was about to take out his bazooka but Kagura was the first to make her move. She banged the table and few bowls flew into the air. They landed onto Shinpachi's and Gintoki's head.

"Sadist, you didn't take that out. Shinpachi, tell Anego I also want a picture of a bunny. The one with a unibrow." Kagura continued to eat her ice cream carelessly.

The sadistic prince looked at China, who seemed to enjoy her 18th bowl of ice cream. Kagura stopped eating and looked at Sougo, who turned his head away at the last second.

"Yorozuya. My wallet has a limit... anyways, the restaurants. We have to search for one."

The gang finished their food and got up to leave. Shinpachi and Gintama followed after Kagura, who led the way. The two men turned around to see Sougo, who seemed pissed. Shinpachi and Gintoki resumed their kissing sounds but were eventually stopped by Kagura's fist to their face.

The group left a decent-looking restaurant with Kagura, dragging a drunk silver haired samurai around 3 o'clock.

"What the he-" Kagura was cut off by Gintoki's sneeze, which directly went to Shinpachi face.

The glasses boy wiped his face with Gintoki's clothes and started, "We've only been inside there for few minutes to make a reservation, Gin-san. What were you doi-" Gintoki sneezed again, this time, aiming at Sougo.

The sadist quickly pulled Shinpachi and used him as a shield.

"I quit. Kagura-chan, here-" Shinpachi, covered in snot, took Gintoki away from her. "I'll bring him home. Go finish what you have to do, just come back before 9. Aneki wants me home by then." He turned to Sougo before he left. "I'm going to kick your ass if she's hurt. Well, it's kinda hard to imagine that brute woman getting badly hurt, but you know what I mean." He turned to Kagura after. "Before 9! If you don't come by that time, you're not getting your unibrow bunny."

He left the pair standing after awhile. Kagura turned around to face Sougo.

"Sadist, lemme see that list-" She tried to read the paper that he held, making contact with her hand with his.

"Okay, l'see..." Kagura, who had a hard time reading the list by tiptoeing, still had her hand touching Sougo's. "Hey, squat down a little. I can't read the list." She was still touching his hand.

_If her hands are soft, then why are her knuckles hard as steel... wait, if I held her han-_

"I STILL CANT READ DUMBASS!" Kagura kicked his stomach, and he landed on the ground. She took the list from him, and scanned through the paper. "Hey, Sadist. Stop bowing to me and stand up."

Sougo got up, and stared at the china monkey. "Just because you're cute doesn't mean you're going to get a boyfriend."

Kagura walked up to the sadist. "Hey. Can I tell you something?" She looked up and made eye contact.

_Whoa. WHEN DID SHE BECOME THAAAAT CUTE?! She's making my kokoro go doki doki doki doki doki doki do- _

"Sadist, I-" Kagura leaned closer to Sougo. He could feel her breath on his skin.

_-ki doki doki doki doki doki doki doki doki doki doki doki doki do- AAUUUGGHHH!_

Kagura had double kicked his balls during that moment.

"Sadist, I really hate it when you do that. Just because you're a cop doesn't mean you can mess with me. When did I say I want a boyfriend? Didn't I tell you that that the queen doesn't need anybody?" She looked at sadist who got up immediately and grabbed her shirt.

"Look China," He was panting already and seemed exhausted. "I'm gonna kick your ass and rip off that smirk of yours. And your sukonbu, I'm going to eat ALL of it while I tie you up.."

Kagura smirked. "You kinky little bitch. Looks like you're back to normal, huh." She kicked Sougo's chest which made him let go of her.

"If you're going to fight me, bring it. But we're never gonna get Gorilla's supplies." She walked away, and left Sougo standing.

"OI CHINA ! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHY I HELD THIS SHIT IN FOR SO LONG?! I HAD THE CHANCE TO FIGHT YOU BUT I DIDNT EVEN HURT YOU ONE BIT. YOU KNOW WHY HUH YOU LITTLE MONKEY?! I FUCKIN LI-"

Something was flying towards him from behind. Two large bottles of mayo hit one spot of his head, and another spot on his back.

Sougo turned around. "Hi-HIJIBAKA!"

"OI STUPID FUCK!" Hijikata took out his ciagarette from his mouth and sighed. "If you're confessing, do it quietly and face to face. Some old woman might be mistaken. Anyway." He looked at the broken bottles that were on the floor. "I added mayo onto your grocer-"

_LIST! CHINA HAS IT! I CANT LET HER SEE THE OTHER PAGE!_

_"Go die, Hijibakaaaaaa!" _Yelled Sougo as he fled from the scene.

"DONT FORGET MY MAYO YA DUMBASS!"

"Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm," Kagura was humming a theme song from Katekyo Hitman Reborn as she reread the list. "Okay. Next stop, flowaaahhhh shop."

She looked from left to right, but no luck. "Erm. I remember finding a flower shop before..." Kagura turned around and found Sougo looking down at her.

"Found you." He smiled.

_Geh. He's still that sadist._

"I'm gonna kick your ass if you make another move. And here-" Kagura pointed at a candle store. She coincidently found one in front of her. "Gorilla has to be super romantic. It can't just be a plain dinner without these babies. We'll go to a flower shop later."

She entered the store with Sougo following behind.

The scent inside the store was sweet. Kagura, like when she entered the umbrella shop, was instantly fascinated. "It smells great! Whaaa-"

Sougo noticed her voice fading away as soon as her 'whaaa' stopped. She was out of his sight again.

"Chiiiiinnnaaaaaaa. Chiiiiinnnaaaaa. I'm lost and I neeeed youuu. Chiiiinnnaaaaa."

Kagura came up from behind and smashed a candle on his head.

"Hey... SHUT UP DUMB ASS!" She sighed and handed him few candles. "Decorate the place with these. It smells great, so Anego will like it. Probably."

Sougo looked at the candles, then back to Kagura. "Your house stinks. It needs candles too. What do you wa-" He was cut off again, by Kagura's fist.

"We came here to buy candles you shit face! The flower shop must be closing too. Hurry up!"

Sougo quickly paid, and followed her out the door.

Kagura was speed-walking, and at the same time, humming another Katekyo Hitman Reborn song. She had a smile on her face while doing so, and Sougo thought it was cute. While she wasn't noticing him, he took the slip of paper away from her hand.

_Alright. Now she can't read the list. It has the things I have to do in order to make her mine. Ahhh, thank goodne-_

"FLOWAAAAA SHOP!" Kagura yelled and ran towards the store. She paused at the door and turned around.

" Sadist. Hurry up, I'm hungry. Let's eat again after we get these flowers."

"Y-yeah." Sougo looked at her and smiled, but Kagura turned away right after seeing his smile.

The two walked around the store looking for the perfect flowers. After awhile, they stopped and picked up a bouquet of two types of flowers.

"Tulips and yellow carnations?" Asked Sougo.

"Mhm. You don't know the significance of these flowers, huh?" Sougo shook his head. The two were already walking towards the cashier. "Well, let's just say that these two flowers are quite the opposite."

It was sunset by the time the pair have finished their shopping. Before Kagura left, Sougo wanted to visit the park.

"Let's stay here for awhile. I'm really exhausted..." Sougo took out a box of plum flavored sukonbu and started eating.

"Wha-whaaaaat?! Hey, lemme have some." Kagura was drooling, well, just a little bit.

Sougo looked at her and smirked. He picked up another piece of sukonbu and ate. "Then chell me chur chavorite pblower."

Kagura looked at him with disdain. _Ugh.. What is he planning now.._

"No. Gimme a piece. I'm hungry." She looked away, then back at Sougo. "OH! The chocolates and cake! We have to make them!"

Sougo nodded as he kept chewing. Once he swallowed his last piece, he said, "Then we'll make it." He took another piece of sukonbu and started eating again. "The Shinsengumi headquarters. Make it there." He kept chewing while looking at her, waiting for Kagura's answer.

"No. My home. And actually... I can do it myself. Just pay me extra when this is all done. Drop off the ingredients since you have it." She got up from the bench and looked at Sougo. "If you don't drop it off tomorrow, I'm going to hunt you down. Aside from that, I'm tired, so I'll be leaving."

"Mm. Gotcha." That was all Sougo's reply. He looked at her silently as she walked away. _Nice butt. _

Kagura was slightly disappointed again in Sougo. She expected another hug from last time, but she shook her head.

_Ugh. What am I thinking? Out of all the guys there, it had to sadist boy. Well, whatever..._

Kagura felt something in her pocket. _Paper? _

She took the paper out and scanned over it. _Some kind of list. This is from today, right?_

It wasn't the list she was expecting to read. Well, the mayo part was something she didn't really expect. She read the title of the list: _how to make china girl fall in love with me._

Kagura stared at it for awhile and then ripped it.

_What kind of stupid game is he playing now?!_

Sougo sat at the exact same bench right after Kagura left. He was still chewing his sukonbu. He looked at the shopping bags which were both full of candles and flowers.

_Hm. Her favorite scent and flowers. And significance of these? The heck. Well, what else is on my list.._

Sougo took out a piece of paper from his pocket and started to read: _things needed for kondou-san. _

_Huh. This isn't the paper. It's supposed to say something about China girl._

He tried to empty his pocket but the piece of the 'special' paper was nowhere to be found.

_Awww shit. There were two pieces of paper but I only managed to get one of them. Shit._

"Ahh." Sougo swallowed his last piece of sukonbu. "Well, what to do now. Looks like I should start plan B now."


End file.
